5 Tips To Avoid Common Fertility Sex Problems

You’ve made a big decision…to start trying for a baby!

Free range sex unfettered by contraception concerns…what more could you wish for? Raunchy, racy romantic… candles, rose-petals; motive meets opportunity at every chance.

In the heady early days and nights of trying to conceive there’s a new frisson to sex. After all, you may have spent up to fifteen years trying, and succeeding, in not getting pregnant.

Sometimes a disconnection between relaxing, absorbing releasing sex and enjoyment gets clouded by worries about conceiving.

 

kissingThis lustful living is great for a few months but no sign of a positive pregnancy test can be perplexing and frustrating. Loss of desire is a common sexual problem faced by close, happy couples trying to conceive. Concerns begin to set in. Why is it not happening for us? What are we doing wrong?

You schedule sex to better coincide with the monthly fertile window of ovulation to increase your conception chances, which makes perfect sense. Somehow sex has changed tune, from fun and passion to a timetabled chore. Sometimes a disconnection between relaxing, absorbing releasing sex and enjoyment gets clouded by worries about conceiving. The pressure mounts and it may be hard to get into the mood for sex.This lowered libido, a loss of desire, can affect both partners equally; men may often have erection problems and for women, orgasm becomes elusive.

 Is Baby Making Sex Different?

Of course it needn’t be when everything goes to plan. Many couples may not know exactly when their baby was conceived. Good sex and regular orgasms actually do help fertility, so you may want to get great sex back on the menu! I like to talk about Mindful Sex which simply means being in the moment and totally enjoying yourself.

Here are some ideas:

1. Sex is a basic need for both of you to stay happy and well in your relationship, no matter what else is going on in your life. When you move beyond the honeymoon phase you may have to remember to set aside time together for sex. Schedule time at weekends or use early morning trysts to keep in touch. Sexual encounters do not always need to last all night long to be delightful and effective.

Good sex and regular orgasms actually do help fertility, so you may want to get great sex back on the menu!

 

2. Focus on yourself. Find your own time and space to stay in touch with your own body. Exercise, eating well, massage, nice clothes and lingerie can all play their part in keeping your body strong and feeling good. Knowing your own needs and responses by way of self-pleasuring/solo-sex can help in making sure your partner learns what works for you Right Now. Your partner is not a mind-reader, neither are you so talk often about sex.

3. Separate worries, resentments and arguments from sex. There is a place to deal with all those other issues and the bedroom is not it. Keep your bedroom for sex and sleep. Very little happens when you are checking emails, answering call or watching movies.  Have fun, enjoy yourself and each other.

4. If problems persist do get help and talk to those you trust.

5. Remember what it was like when you first got together and couldn’t take your hands off each other? Keep that in mind!


Do you have any fertility related questions? Leave us a comment below, and Helena will do her best to reply to them on her next post!


Helena TubridyHelena Tubridy, Fertility Specialist, is a clinical hypnotherapist and former midwife. For 30+ years Helena has been helping couples to achieve pregnancy, to overcome infertility, and deal with miscarriage and loss. She coaches IVF clients through that emotional rollercoaster. Her patient guide ‘Fertility in Mind…How to Succeed With IVF’ was compiled with you in mind and outlines her popular mind body programme. Please feel to comment and join the chat ….

Simply Kid Clothes Competition

Simply Kids Clothes specializes in children fashionable clothing. Simply Kid Clothes is an Irish based business that runs an online shop, which was set up to sell the trendy kid clothes in the range for the newborns, through babies, toddlers (1-3years) up to little boys and girls of age 6,7 & 8 years.

Browse through their online collection of dresses for kids and place your order from anywhere in Ireland, UK and in Europe.

Win a 3-Piece Jog Set With Simply Kid Clothes

Be in with a chance of winning a gorgeous Babaluno 3 piece jog set ( valued 17.50e) Winner will be able to choose size (0-3m, 3-6m, 6-9m and 9-12m)

Simply Kid Clothing

The set comprises of a red hooded, zipped sweatshirt that features Alvin’s Bear 63 garage on the front and is completed by a short sleeved white T-shirt, featuring Alvin and his car  and a pair of navy blue jog pants that have an elasticated waistband and drawstring. Tee: 100% cotton. Hoodie: 65% cotton and 35% polyester. Jog: 65% cotton and 35% polyester. Machine washable.

To be in with a chance, just like and share the pic of babaluno set on Facebook. Winner will be picked next Friday 11th of October. Good Luck!

Special Discount for Meetmums followers! Get 10% off everything at Simply Kid Clothes using the code: RH6SKC at the checkout.

 

 

When A Daily Routine Becomes A Nightmare Experience

This week we had one of those shocking incidents that reverberate through the community. A preschool child was hit by a car.

The news leaves one sickened, imagining that frail little body hit with such a blow. ‘She was on her way to school,’ I hear, and, with a sickening feeling in my stomach,  I remember the strident wail of the ambulance siren that I’d heard at that time.

Green Man photo credit: marfis75 via photopin cc

I remember noticing that sound. I had noticed it without taking time to recognise that somebody’s life was changed forever. I shudder as I imagine the horror of the parent, seeing their little one struck down before their eyes. ‘The pedestrian light was green,’ they say. ‘She skipped out into the road without a care in the world.’

And suddenly it dawns on me that I too have used words that could endanger my grandchild on the road: ‘Okay the little man is green now. We can cross.’ I’ve forgotten that as an adult there is an interim step that we take almost subconsciously. Before I walk when I see the  ‘green man’, I assess whether the cars have responded to their red light. Are they stopping?

As adults, we need to be continually assessing the risk factor for our children. We balance between helping them develop the skills for independence and keeping them safe.

 

Next time I’m taking my granddaughter out, I am going to bring attention to the fact that the other side of the traffic light is showing a red light for the cars. And I’m going to rephrase my wording.

‘Ok. The man has gone green. Are the cars stopping for their red light?’ Check together! ‘Now we can cross.’

Next day we hear that the child was kept in hospital overnight for observation but that she is home now, thank God. It could have been so much worse, but I imagine that parent berating herself. ‘Why wasn’t I holding her hand?

It’s a challenge for every parent. Every five-year-old-going-on-eight wants to take little steps to independence. She wants to learn to do things for herself. It’s part of the growing up process – she NEEDS to learn to do things for herself.

At this age her life experience is limited and the brain is still under construction, which means that her ability to envisage possible outcomes of risky situations is limited.

As adults, we need to be continually assessing the risk factor for our children. We balance between helping them develop the skills for independence and keeping them safe.

So here’s the key question

How do we, as parents, assess risk to keep our children safe without stifling their spirit or their self esteem?’

This is such a big question we’ve decided to make this the topic of our next article. So please send in your questions and comments on this topic so that we can craft an article that responds to the challenges that you are facing.

You can also get advice on this and other parenting questions at Koemba  Parenting Programme

Kilkenny: 8 x  Wednesday mornings 10 am St Patrick’s Parish Centre, Kilkenny from 9 Oct, 2013

Help  your family to  think more clearly, connect more compassionately, behave more response-ably and live more joyfully.

Copyright ©Val Mullally Sept 2013


Val Mullally MA is founder of Koemba. She is an author, blogger and parent coach. Sign up on koemba to receive Val’s regular articles on creating environments for children to thrive.

The Ever Present Working Mother Guilt

That ever-present guilt

Are you a mum working outside the home? Do you feel guilty?

Rephrase that – do you ever not feel guilty?

No matter what our reasons for working – paying a boom-time mortgage,
maintaining one foot on the corporate ladder until the kids are older, working
part-time for a little sanity, or because of a genuine love of a chosen career,
most mums feel guilty at least some of the time. And it’s such a wasted emotion – it achieves nothing. We inflict it on ourselves, so should have the power to stop it. Easier said than done…

Continue reading

My Parental Leave Experience – Time Management

Weekly Schedule, Sadhbh Devlin

I am at the halfway point of my Parental Leave Experience now and time is flying! Lately, I am remembering a feeling I had when I reached the end of my maternity leave. As the time to go back to work drew nearer and nearer I kept  thinking “How can I possibly fit a job into my life? I am so constantly busy, that I literally can’t see how I can add one more thing into my day, let alone a full-time job!”… and then, because I had to, I did fit it in. Obviously, because somehow you can do anything you set your mind to. Even things you don’t particularly want to do.

it’s been a summer of late nights and tired mornings. Lazy days at home and lazy days out and about. Domestic chaos. Piles of laundry – even when there’s been ‘great drying’ out. A general feeling of what should we do today? Ah sure, we can do that tomorrow.

I have been having a similar feeling recently. I am not worrying thinking about going back to work yet, I still have plenty of time for that, but something had happened that I didn’t foresee when I decided to take Parental Leave earlier this year. I think it was a combination of the holiday feeling I’ve had since I’ve finished work and the beautiful weather we’ve had this summer that just confirmed and exaggerated the holiday feeling.

You see, it’s been a summer of late nights and tired mornings. Lazy days at home and lazy days out and about. Domestic chaos. Piles of laundry – even when there’s been ‘great drying’ out. A general feeling of what should we do today? Ah sure, we can do that tomorrow. Let’s just take it easy. Where will we go today? Ah, sure we can go there tomorrow.  Let’s just take it easy.

Basically, there has been very little structure in my life and after years of having a very definite structure in my life, I am realizing that I don’t cope spectacularly well without one. Well, without some structure at least. I just don’t get anything done without one and then I get stressed out about the accumulation of things I need to do and things I would like to do, so that even the fun stuff seems like too much hard work and it all turns into a vicious cycle.

Lunch Box PlannerSo, a couple of weeks ago, I decided I had had enough. I needed to get organised. I needed to somehow piece all of the things that need to be done and all the fun things I want to do together and to find time for them all. I wanted to allocate time to housework, paperwork, fitness goals, etc so that when it was time to have fun, I wouldn’t have to worry about any of it and I wouldn’t be distracted from just being with my girls.

Basically, there has been very little structure in my life and after years of having a very definite structure in my life, I am realizing that I don’t cope spectacularly well without one

I found a really simple way to organise myself and it’s been working well so far. It provides me with structure, but if I want to be spontaneous, that’s ok too, because I can just shift things around a bit or ignore it if the beach is calling! (Seriously, if the beach is calling in Ireland – the dishes can wait!)

A quick online search led me to this Mama blogger in Australia who designs great family oriented printables. I started using her ‘Weekly Schedule’ to plan out my weeks and it’s been a great way to keep track of myself. I print out a copy of the blank schedule on a Sunday evening and have a think about what I want to do that week. A visit to the library? A walk in the woods? A trip to the park? A date night? (It helps to fill in the fun stuff first!)

Then I think about the chores I’d like to get done. How many loads of laundry will I realistically do? Hoovering, mopping floors, cleaning bathrooms – you know – all that lovely stuff ;) It all goes into the schedule, and suddenly, because there is time allocated to them, I’m not trying to cram it all into one afternoon whilst simultaneously losing patience with the children.

I think it’s good for my girls too. Having a good routine is a good precursor to them starting in preschool in a few weeks

I also like to schedule some time for myself, whether it’s for a run, or some time to write for my blog or even a night out, it’s great that I know I have things to look forward to.

I think it’s good for my girls too. Having a good routine is a good precursor to them starting in preschool in a few weeks. Though the schedule will change then, having a steady predictability to their lives beforehand can only make them feel more secure, which I hope will help them with this new transition.

There is also a section on the planner for a daily ‘menu’ but I have yet to get that far into scheduling. I know it would be a good idea for me to get more organised in that area and start meal planning. It will save me money in the long-run and make the 5pm fridge search/head scratch a bit less frantic, but I’m not there yet. (Obviously cooking doesn’t interest me as much as list-making!) There are tons of meal-planning tools out there and I do need to investigate further, maybe if I put it in my schedule I’ll find  time to get that organised too!


SadhbhSadhbh Devlin has always been told she has a head for hats. This may be true, but in fact she only owns two actual hats, both woollen and shapeless. She does however, wear many metaphorical hats. She is mama to twin toddler girls, wife to a very tall husband, a full time employee in an Irish language organisation, a greeting card designer and small business owner, a photo snapper, a writer of words in tiny, secret notebooks, a crafter and an obsessive tryer of new things. She writes about most of these lovely hats at Where the Wishes Come From


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Family Events August-Sept 2013

Ukelele HooleyUkelele Hooley Festival, Dun Laoghaire, 24th-25th August

We have a lined up a fantastic weekend of fun ukulele events, there is something in it for everybody. There are Ukulele Master Workshops, Beginners Workshops, the Ukulele Bus Busk scenic tour, the Ukulele Hooley Open Mic Night, and the main event: an 8-hour live concert by some of the most renowned ukulele artists and bands from around the world.

But the most important thing about any ukulele festival is the opportunity it presents for ukulele players to get together to play, sing, socialise and have a fun time, and that’s what the Ukulele Hooley is all about!

More info: www.ukulelehooley.com

Family Fun Day at the National Print Museum, Sun 25 Aug

National Print Museum – Family Fun Day
12:00 – 16:00, Sun 25 Aug
National Print Museum, Beggars Bush, Haddington Road, Dublin 4

To celebrate Heritage Week 2013, the Museum will become a hive of activity with printing demonstrations, face painting, mini children’s workshops and self-guided arts and crafts activities at the Education Area. Put on a hat and apron and become a mini printer for the day. Admission is free.

 

Children’s Art Workshop – Farmleigh House, Sun 25 Aug

12:00 – 16:00, Sun 25 Aug
Farmleigh House, Castleknock end of Phoenix Park, Dublin 15

A Children’s Art Workshop for 6-12yrs wil take place and has the theme “Dinosaur Zoo”. Are dinosaurs really extinct? Invent and create your own dinosaur at Farmleigh with Orla Kelly from Early Childhood Creativity. Workshops are free but ticketed. Tickets are allocated on the day on a first come first served basis. All workshops take place in the Motorhouse.

Session 1: Dinosaur Zoo 12:00-13:00
Session 2: Make a Fossil 13:30-14:30
Session 3: Dinosaur Zoo 15:00-16:00

Children’s Art Cart Workshop, Sun 25 Aug

10:30 – 12:30, Sun 25 Aug
Phoenix Park Visitor Centre, Phoenix Park, Dublin 8

The Children’s Art Cart Workshops will be held again in the Phoenix Park Visitor Centre (01-6770095) every Sunday from 24 March to 22 December 2013. Currently the workshop is still free, but there is a possibility that a fee will be introduced at some point. Children must be over 6 years of age and must be supervised by an adult.
You can’t pre-book, so early arrival is required because there are only 20 places per session.

The theme is: Make a Surprise

Story Draw, Sun Aug 25

11:00 – 12:30, Sun 25 Aug, Granby Park, Lower Dominick Street, Dublin 2

A children event for the younger ones (ages 2-5) is taking place: StoryDraw is a story time where, after some well known tales have been read aloud, the children will be asked for their ‘artistic reaction’ to elements of the stories that have appealed to them.

Dalkey Lobster FestDalkey LobsterFest, 23rd, 24th, 25th Aug

This years Dalkey LobsterFest, Lobster, Crab …and all that Jazz promises to be even better than last year with a fantastic line up of great jazz musicians and loads of great food on offer.

Headline acts include such greats as Paddy Cole as well as Sharon Shannon, Mary Couglan, Rob Strong and lots more.

This year our festival extends to include the Sue Ryder Foundation off Coliemore Road, where we will have a Vintage Village, Vintage vault (think antiques roadshow), art exhibition, kids play area and more music as well as a 150k randonnee (or long cycle) to Arklow and back.

In the town we will have market stalls as well as lots of fun events such as Celebrity Masterchef and Junior Masterchef.

Watch out for the Extraordinary Crab Jam on Sunday evening in the Tramyard – a chance to hear a selection of the festival highlights as well as all you can eat crab and dancing late into the night.

Babble for Babies,Thu 5 – 6 Sep

Mermaid County Wicklow Arts Center,

Babble creates a magical world of voices and moving pictures
for babies aged 0-18 months and was developed in creative
consultation with local nurseries and a speech therapist.
A vocal wonderland made from live voices and video, with
music by award-winning composer, David Goodall, BABBLE
is performed inside our brand new special Bubble – Replay’s
unique portable indoor performance space.

Jazz & Hip Hop Family Fun Day at Granby Park, Sunday, September 8, 2013,

1:30pm until 7:00pm

Voluntary creative organisation Upstart have transformed an urban wasteland into a beautiful park, on Dominick Street Lower, Dublin 1. This was made possible by a couple of hundred volunteers & a successful Fundit campaign. We are delighted to celebrate four years of Discotekken by co-producing a free, all ages, outdoor family fun day with Upstart in GRANBY PARK.

From 2pm DJs will play family friendly jazz, soul, rnb & hip hop records. From 5pm, Stone & Jezreel will perform live. S&J are a 2-piece Rhythm & Soul band, born in Nigeria & currently based in Dublin. Their musical influences include Nas, Lauren Hill, Fela Kuti and Bob Marley. Dublin’s enigmatic Gruel Guerilla will have his BBQ fired up all day. Elsa Green will be painting the children’s faces. TemperMental MissElayneous will conduct an MC-ing workshop. There’ll be a children’s play area…. and a live graffiti jam. We have some other bits & bobs in the pipeline too.

Giddy Studios

Giddy studios, dundrum are hosting a week of Baby and Toddler mornings from 21-28 september. I will be hosting a Sleep Q and A on Thursday 26th. Booking through giddy studios essential!


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Breastfeeding Mum Gets Thrown Out From Primark

Last 12th of August, a Spanish mum who was breastfeeding in a Primark (Penneys) shop was thrown out from said shop in the city of Valladolid.